I’ve shed tears in front of nearly all my direct supervisors. From my first job to my current one, I’ve cried, sniffled, and hiccupped while sitting physically and virtually across from my boss. The tears arrive even when I count to ten and raise my eyes to the ceiling, unblinking, as my supervisor looks on, often in a mixture of empathy, confusion and genuine concern. While I’m not necessarily proud of these moments, I’m also not ashamed. Yet often, it feels like I should be. Why?

The act of crying’s cultural association with weakness is an unfortunate one. But in a modern age of mental health awareness, there’s certainly been a cultural movement to disassociate crying from weakness, encouraging a social restructuration on how crying can be a symbol of one’s inner strength. Just google “crying weakness” and you’ll receive pages upon pages on why reaching for a tissue is actually good for you. But why does crying in a professional workplace still feel so taboo?

In many respects, because it still is. While you can cry all you want in your bedroom, on a friend’s shoulder, in the parking lot of your office building, crying in a workplace is still often viewed as “unprofessional.” I don’t agree.

I’ve been very lucky to have had supervisors – Gareth included – who have approached my tears with gentle empathy. Sometimes, I cried because of work-related reasons. Sometimes because of personal reasons. From feeling like I was underperforming at work to navigating a family member’s unexpected illness, there was nothing that stood in my way of crying in front of my supervisor. Like anyone else, I would apologize for causing a scene, try my best to pretend like it wasn’t that big of a deal, but for many of my supervisors, the response was respectful acknowledgement and assurance. Sure, there was a hint of avoidance in some responses, but in most cases, my emotions and the reason for them were heard, recognized, and sometimes acted upon.

Guilt would be present. Fear, as well, that I had embarrassed myself. But nearly every time I exposed my vulnerability in the workplace, I left feeling light, like the conflicts in my core shifted and could be approached with newfound insights. I eventually learned that in sharing moments of vulnerability, my supervisors didn’t see me as lesser than. While they saw another part of me that was separate from the professional game face, that can-do attitude, they also saw strength for being able to share my sincere feelings. They could also see fully how I worked through what I was struggling with.

We live in a world that expects you to be at your job around nine hours a day. That’s over 30% of your day. Why shouldn’t we approach work with the same level of empathy and understanding that we would approach ourselves or our friends with during our off-hours? When I extend kindness to myself in the workplace and share my vulnerabilities with my colleagues, I often come out the other side reinvigorated and grateful to contribute my efforts to a workplace that values expressing empathy to its people.  

I’ll admit that this advice doesn’t extend to all workplaces. In some settings, it may be best to hold back your tears. If you’re in the middle of a company-wide presentation or if you’re counselling an individual working through their trauma, it may be best if you remain calm and push through, allowing space for your emotions to surface later. I’m also not advocating to start crying every day or every other day. But if you really feel those tears coming, sometimes it’s okay to let them go. And often, your space, whether that’s a workplace or somewhere else, will be better for it.

The photograph for this post was also taken by Joanne. To learn more about Joanne, visit her LinkedIn profile.